There are plenty of reasons people choose not to have kids, with the cost of raising them being a major one. Another big factor is the fear that children will disrupt an ideal FIRE lifestyle. Many envision a life of traveling the world, indulging in incredible cuisine, and living spontaneously—things that can feel more challenging with kids in tow.
I understand that perspective. I grew up living in six countries before college, studied abroad for six months, and spent 13 years working in international equities. Travel was a huge part of my life. My approach was to achieve financial independence as quickly as possible and then have kids.
As an older parent, I feel relatively secure, having had more time to save and invest. However, I do wish I had children earlier than 39 and 42, given how much energy it takes to raise them. Starting younger would have meant more years with them later in life.
To prepare for settling down, my wife and I spent 2012–2017 traveling to about 20 countries before having our first child. We wanted to get those travel experiences out of our system so we could fully embrace being stay-at-home parents during their early years. By the time our son arrived, we were over the constant urge to hop on planes or ships, so our plan worked.
This mindset helped us focus on raising our kids without feeling the fear of missing out—especially during the first two years of the pandemic.
Don’t Be Afraid of Having Kids If You Want to FIRE
Eight years into parenting, however, I’m realizing that delaying having kids is a bad idea if you truly want them. Kids won’t derail your FIRE lifestyle as much as you might think because they actually have more flexibility than you’d expect.
Plus, as you get older, your desire to travel and party as much naturally declines. Instead, you may find yourself enjoying the simple pleasures of reading a good personal finance book in bed or ordering takeout while watching your favorite show. Take for example my latest travels.
Just a couple of weeks after spending five nights skiing at Palisades, Lake Tahoe, we are back for another four-night stay. With my kids off from school for nine days between February 15-23, I figured we should make the most of it with another trip.
Being the frugal personal finance enthusiast that I am, we planned our visit strategically—driving up on Monday, February 17, and leaving Friday, February 21. This way, we could rent out our place the weekends before and after, maximizing rental income. For a 3.5-hour drive each way, we’ve found that four to five nights is the sweet spot. Plus, weekend rates are peak rates, and we prefer fewer crowds on the mountain anyway.
So Many School Vacation Holidays!
During the drive up, I couldn’t help but think: Dang, these kids are really lucky—so many vacations! It feels like they’re taking more trips than I ever did as a kid. It’s almost as if education has taken a backseat to maximizing freedom at an early age.
Once we arrived, I decided to check our school vacation calendar. Sure enough, there are 46 vacation/off days during the school year—not including the 2.5 months off for summer. When you factor in the weekends wrapped around those breaks, we’re looking at 4.5 months of free time a year!
All these days off feel like the beginning of the quiet quitting movement, but for school. Does anyone else feel like the number of school vacation days is reaching ever-higher levels?
Ideal Amount of Time to Spend Traveling Each Year
Before semi-retiring in 2012, I imagined that the ideal amount of time to travel when FIRE was about three months per year. I had already been taking six weeks off a year for the last two years of my work career. My plan was simple:
- One month in Hawaii to spend more time with my parents.
- One month in Lake Tahoe to get as much snowboarding in as possible.
- One month traveling internationally, ideally visiting at least two countries.
For several years, I stuck to this plan, sometimes extending my travels to 3.5 months a year. But eventually, I got tired of all it all. While I’m not at that point again, I’m reminded of how exhausting frequent travel can be as I was driving up to Lake Tahoe.
As much as I enjoy experiencing new places, I’ve come to appreciate the balance between adventure and staying put. While three months per year might have been the sweet spot before kids, I’m now reconsidering what the ideal amount really is.
Vacation for Kids Usually Means More Work for Parents
While vacations are fun for kids, they often require more effort from FIRE parents or those who choose to take time off instead of sending their kids to mini-camps or daycare. The more school breaks your child has, the more energy you’ll need to dedicate to parenting.
That said, this extra time together is a gift—especially if your kids are under 12. At this stage, all they want is to spend as much time with family as possible. One of the best perks of FIRE is having the flexibility to enjoy every school break with them.
However, if you’re a FIRE parent who has settled into a routine where traditional school acts as a default structure for your kids, you may feel more exhausted during extended vacations. We get used to our habits, and ironically, not having to homeschool has made us softer.
Beyond parenting, most FIRE parents I know have personal passions they love to pursue. For me, it’s writing on Financial Samurai and creating a new personal finance book every three years.
To be more present on vacation, I prepared ahead by writing and scheduling three posts in advance. But, inevitably, new post ideas—like this one—popped into my head, so I had to write and publish them. Plus, I enjoy engaging with reader comments and emails. So when I’m on vacation, it’s never a complete break.
Three Months of Travel a Year Is More Than Enough
Traveling solo or with your partner is completely different from traveling with young kids. If I were alone, I’d throw everything into a backpack and go. But with kids, our SUV gets packed to the brim—dietary-specific foods, clothes, stuffed animals, puzzles, games, and more. And if we’re flying, checked luggage is inevitable. Thankfully, we’re past the stroller and car seat stage.
Because traveling with kids requires more effort, my original three-month-per-year travel goal feels more than enough. In fact, eight weeks a year of travel is probably plenty with children. Even if the kids could travel 365 days a year, none of us would want to do so. Kids, in particular, enjoy the comfort of their own homes.
Looking ahead, March has another four-day school break, followed by two three-day weekends. Do we really want to return to Tahoe just two weeks later? Maybe. Consistently attending ski school is great for development. But maybe we’ll opt for Sonoma/Napa Valley instead—just 1.15 hours away to change things up.
Then in April, there’s a nine-day break for spring vacation. I love spring skiing when temperatures regularly hit the 40s. But if the snow is too thin, we’ll probably head to Honolulu to visit my parents—if they’ll have us.
When you have the freedom to take a trip during every school break, it can feel overwhelming. You’ve got to plan, pack, pay, coordinate, and travel. But staying home doing nothing can also feel like a waste since you are free. As a result, the natural tendency is to plan and go because you can.
The Real Fun Begins in Summer for FIRE Parents
With 46 school days off throughout the year (not counting weekends), you might feel exhausted by June, when school gets out. But then comes 2.5 months of summer break to plan!
Most parents rely on summer camps, which offer fantastic programs—if you can secure a spot. In San Francisco, competition is fierce, and I assume it’s the same in other big cities. If you don’t land a spot, it’s on the parents to fill the days.
Personally, I run “Daddy Camp” for my kids, which currently includes swimming, biking, hiking, Pokémon Go adventures, reading, and pickleball. I also have “Be Responsible Camp,” where I teach them life skills about adulthood. Subjects include manners, communication skills, household chores, landscaping, and rental property maintenance. It’s fun but also a lot of work.
This summer, we plan to spend at least a month in Honolulu. If we get the kids into a local summer camp, that’ll be a bonus—it’s like winning the lottery since out-of-towners are last in line. But if not, Daddy Camp and Be Responsible Camp will continue in Honolulu. But before booking the tickets, we need to lock down a 30-day-or-longer rental house. Anybody have one?
You Can Travel Enough and Enjoy Your Freedom While School Is in Session
At the end of the day, having kids doesn’t ruin your desired FIRE lifestyle—you still get to travel plenty, just with them. As they grow older, travel becomes even more rewarding. Instead of just reading about the pyramids in Egypt, they’ll see them in person. Instead of nibbling at expensive meals, they’ll actually eat enough to justify the cost. More importantly, you’ll create amazing memories together for up to 4.5 months a year.
When school is in session, you’ll regain ~40 hours per week to do whatever you want. That is when you might experience true early retirement life again since you don’t have to work. And when they leave for college, you’ll have 168 free hours per week if you wish. Hang in there! Yet, at the same time, cherish every moment with them.
Having kids will enhance your FIRE lifestyle because they will give you more purpose to explore. Yes, you’ll be more tired, spend more passive income, and have your patience tested endlessly. But kids will significantly increase the joy and purpose of financial independence. So don’t let your pursuit of FIRE stop you from having kids if you want them!
FIRE May No Longer Be Necessary
Finally, with so many flexible work arrangements available today, is early retirement even necessary anymore? Many of my friends at Meta and Google work from home on Fridays and Mondays, effectively turning every weekend into a four-day getaway. Whether it’s hitting the slopes or relaxing at the beach, they’re already enjoying a taste of the FIRE lifestyle—without having to retire.
Getting paid to vacation and travel with your kids feels like a double bonus. As someone who didn’t even receive paid parental leave, I’m not sure I could give up such a perk.
Logically, it makes sense to get paid to travel and vacation for as long as possible. If your employer starts tightening the reins, just ramp up your efforts until they ease up again.
If you’re a FIRE parent, I’d love to hear how having kids has influenced your FIRE lifestyle. Has it changed the way you originally planned to live? Do you find yourself constantly planning adventures whenever school is out, or have you learned to resist FOMO and enjoy a more relaxed, local lifestyle? How do you plan summer vacation with them?
Recommendations
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Finally, if you want to achieve financial freedom sooner, pick up a copy of Millionaire Milestones: Simple Steps To Seven Figures. It’s packed with actionable advice to help you build more wealth than 90% of the population, so you can live free.
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